Breaking In/Down

It would seem that within the BDSM community there are multiple definitions for “breaking down” or “breaking in” a slave/sub. I agree with some and vehemently disagree with others. Generally, if you respect and love me and always have my care and safety in mind, I trust you.

(Blank Slate) My initial reaction to the term is one that makes me think of training fighting pit bulls or people in the military. It makes me think of demeaning someone until they have such an insecure sense of self that they are open to being imposed upon. They are literally broken in spirit and then built back up into whatever their desired personality should be. This is also reminiscent of Stockholm Syndrome. This is not healthy and I don’t like it.

(Training) The kind of breaking in/down that requires a sub/slave to learn what pleases their dominant is necessary. I understand the need to unlearn bad habits and be trained to address the dom as they please. This to me seems more like wearing a baseball cap and flexing the bill until you like it. It looks the same, feels, the same but changes shape a little to fit you better.

(Teasing) This kind of breaking in/down, I can see the value in and I feel like we sort of do this and I want to do this more often. I feel like I do this to you sometimes when I ask you questions and we have deeper and deeper talks…trying to see you and the you beneath that you hide. We explore each other verbally and you explore me physically and test my limits to see where I can go. Limits are respected and tested accordingly.

(Pushing) This kind of treatment is based on the idea that in order to get to a place of actualization of limits a sub/slave needs to be pushed past them. This is also in an effort to train a heavy bottom. I agree with this and actually require this in order to see where my limits are…this I feel like, is our barrier. It is where I want to go and where I want you to go…without losing your focus. I think the only thing I would want is to be talked to a little more if we went into this. Most of the time our scening is a surprise to me. We don’t really talk about what will happen. However, I think this is because I know what mix of things is expected…minus the last anarchy party. But in order to push past and remain safe and communicative, I would want to know how we are pushing past, like when you brought out a knife and told me you were doing that.

I hope this post is helpful.

Love,

Ichy

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